2011年1月4日 星期二

小學生造句~況且況且況且況且況且況

很有趣的造句!隨著年齡增長,愈發羨慕小朋友能夠如此天真無邪的用語.... 
當然,也 很羨慕這位老師如此幽默的評語,這工作真是享受.....                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                           
 
 小學生造句精選                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 1。題目:一邊....一邊....                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:他一邊脫衣服,一邊穿褲子。                                                                                      
 
                                                                                                                           
 老師批語:他到底是要脫還是要穿啊?                                                                                        
                                                                                                                           
 
 2。題目:其中                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:我的其中一只左腳受傷了。                                                                                        
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:你是蜈蚣嗎?                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                           
 
 3。題目:陸陸續續                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:下班了,爸爸陸陸續續的回家了。                                                                                  
 
                                                                                                                           
 老師批語:你到底有幾個爸爸呀?                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 4。題目:難過                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:我家門前9條水溝很難過。                                                                                         
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:老師更難過。                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                           
 
 5。題目:又....又.....                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:我的媽媽又矮又高又胖又瘦。                                                                                      
 
                                                                                                                           
 老師批語;你的媽媽是變形金鋼嗎?                                                                                          
                                                                                                                           
 
 6。題目:你看                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:你看什麼看!沒看過啊?                                                                                          
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:沒看過。                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                           
 
 7。題目:欣欣向榮                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:欣欣向榮榮告白。                                                                                                
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:連續劇不要看太多了!                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 8。題目:好吃                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:好吃個屁。                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:有些東西是不能吃的。                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 9。題目:天真                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:今天真熱。                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:你真天真。                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                           
 
 10。題目:果然                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:昨天我吃水果,然E喝涼水。                                                                                       
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:是詞組,不能分開的。                                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 11。題目:先....再....,例題:先吃飯,再冼澡。                                                                            
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:先生,再見!                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                           
 
 老師批語:想像力超過了地球人的智慧。                                                                                      
 
                                                                                                                           
 12。題目:況且    

                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                           
 
 小朋友寫:一列火車經過,況且況且況且況且況且況。                                                                          
                                                                                                                           
 老師批語:我死了算了。   

英文真的粉重要

一位在美的留學生,想要考駕駛執照。

在考試時因為過於緊張,看到地上標線是向左轉,他不放心的問道:「 Turn left?」

監考官回答:「Right。」

於是他立刻向右轉。

很抱歉,他只好下次再來。


* * * * * * * * * * *


某人刻苦學習英語,自以為終有小成。

一日上街不慎與一老外相撞,忙說:「I am sorry。」

老外應道:「I am sorry too。」

某人又道:「I am sorry three。」

老外不解,問:「What are you sorry for?」

某人無奈,道:「I am sorry five。」


* * * * * * * * * * *


某男,粗通英文,至使館,有表要填,有一欄是sex。

該男思之久已,毅然下筆:「Once a week。」

簽證官觀後暴笑,曰:「This item should be filled in with male or female!」

該男頓時赧顏,思之,填下﹕「Female。」

官楞之,曰:「Shouldn't it be male?」

男急釋曰:「I am a normal man, so I have sex with female。」


* * * * * * * * * * *


某公司經理叫秘書轉呈公文給老闆,「報告老闆,下個月歐洲有一批訂單,我覺得公司需要派人去和他們開會。」

老闆在公文後面短短簽下:「Go a head!」

經理收到之後,馬上指示下屬買機票、擬行程,自己則馬上整理行李。

臨出發,被秘書擋下來。

秘書:「你要幹什麼?」

經理:「去歐洲開會啊!」

秘書:「老闆同意了嗎?」

經理:「老闆不是批go a head 嗎?」

秘書:「你來公司那麼久,難道你還不知道老闆的英文程度嗎?老闆的意思是:『去個頭!』」


* * * * * * * * * * *


有位國內來的女士,個性喜愛沾便宜。

某日紐約曼哈頓名牌衣飾大減價,她去揀便宜,選來選去,終於挑到一件,但樣式新潮,不敢確定是女裝還是男裝。

正巧一位又高又壯又黑的男服務員朝她走過來,就用英語問他:「 For girl or boy?」

黑人回答:「Unisex!」

她聽成「You need sex」,豈不是性騷擾?又怕自己聽錯,露出錯愕懷疑的神情。

黑服務員見狀,一個字母一個字母地解釋:「U - N - I - SEX!」

這次她聽的很清楚「You and I Sex」,立即找黑人上司理論,心想可趁機會大大地敲一筆。

經理解釋說:「這件衣服男女都可以穿,Unisex 是中性的意思,構不上性騷擾。」

她敲竹槓的興頭完全落空,白歡喜一場。


* * * * * * * * * * *


一位老兄獨自到紐約出差,工作之餘,打算看看風景名勝,為此他查考了大量的資料,選擇去自由女神像。

為了週全,甚至把負責自由女神參觀的聯繫電話都找到了 ....666-2613 。

於是,他叫了輛計程車準備出發,下面是他和計程車司機的談話:

計程車司機問道:「Where do you want to go, Sir?」

老兄不知道自由女神像英文稱為「Statue of Liberty」,他想自由應該是 FREE,女神大概是 WOMAN,於是回答司機:「 FREE WOMAN!」

司機聽成「免費的女人」,馬上道:「What?Oh!Hey man, here is America, nothing is free!」(「什麼?喂!老兄,這裡是美國,樣樣都要花錢,沒有免費的玩意兒!」)

老兄:「Oh!How come!I read it from yellow page。 See, here is the phone number,『sex-sex-sex two-sex-one-free』。」

口音

某眷村旁的國中教室課堂內,後排有三個山東籍的學生在傳東西,被老師發現後責問:你們在幹什麼?不久老師聽到其中一個說:他奶奶的Bi
老師有一點生氣對說話的同學問:再說一次!
這次又聽到一樣的髒話:他奶奶的Bi
老師已氣到極點大力捶桌子說:你敢再說一次!只見那個被嚇壞的學生臉色發青的
指著另一同學說:他拿他的筆。

等不急了!

某乙養了十二頭母豬,但他是第一次養,他就向養豬的某甲說:
我把母豬送到你那裡去配種好嗎?某甲答應了。
第一天他把母豬載去後就問某甲:如何知道母豬有沒有受孕呢?
某甲回答說:只要母豬出現不尋常的舉動,就是已懷孕~
第二天他把母豬裝上卡車載去又回來後,沒發生任何異樣。第三天還是如此....
第四天他把母豬趕上卡車後,回屋裡問他老婆說:這幾天母豬有沒有什麼不尋常動,
老婆很驚訝的看著他說:你怎麼還在這裡?那剛剛是誰把卡車開走了?

神燈

有一個獨居的老太太,沒有小孩也不曾結婚,陪伴她的只有一隻貓,生活地非常孤單。有一天當他正在整理閣樓時,發現了一個神燈,她好奇地擦了擦那神燈,果然出現了一個燈神,燈神答應給老太太三個願望,她想了想,說:「我希望我的房子能變成豪華的城堡,而我能恢復年輕與美貌,變成這城堡的公主,最後,我希望我的貓能變成英俊體貼的王子,永遠陪著我。」
一陣煙霧過去,她睜開眼睛,發現她的願望都實現了,她恢復了年輕美貌,身著華服,並住在豪華氣派的大城堡裡,儼然是位高貴的公主,一位英俊的王子輕輕地抱著她,溫柔地對她說:「親愛的,現在你是否後悔當初叫獸醫把我閹了?」